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Topic: I've been here a week., Most SHOCKING !!!!!!!!!!!< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 14:48

Hi to anybody out there

I've been in this wonderful enviroment for a week now.

Hi I'm Kev. That's all you need to know really. You'll find me under the name Dunlooser. Everything is nowadays. .

I've been wondering, " HAVE YOU been shocked by something today. If you reply it hasn't got to be what the headline says. The subject should be how you feel. It doesn't have to be about a headline at all. It could be about something thats happened to you. Just don't make it too personal.

If it's funny, then, thats what I want to hear really.

I went to a Pool match last night here in France. It's sooo important to intergrate.

We walked into the pub and shook hands with everyone, like they do over here. Of course the girls, welllll, you don't actually kiss them (though I have, and got a slap or two, until, it dawned on me wot it woz I was getting wrong ) you give a touch on the cheek and make the sound of a kiss. They judge you on that.

Sooooooo having done that these two young French girls with whom, I had made the kissing sound, came over to the table and said they wanted to watch us play. So while I'm setting the balls up in the triangle, the other member's in the pool team were casting comments such as " You've pulled there mate "

Is that shocking ???????

What bothers me ???????

Help me answer these questions.

You see, that, as an example, sounds like it might be funny to a 57 year old who is a dad, and a grandad, It wasn't. God I hate growing up.

So please make me laugh.
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Gambit Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 16:38

Well if you are looking for shocking,

The other day I was reading the Globe and Mail (Canadian news paper) and i recall reading an article about the protests in egypt and the president Mubarak. I can not remember the quote exactly, but i remember him talking about how he will NOT be stepping down because he did not want to see the streets of egypt turn to chaos. I thought it was shocking and kind of funny because I guess he hadn't looked outside his window lately hahaha.

As well on CNN they were interviewing someone from Egypt, and on the bottom little scrolling thingy they identified him as "RADICAL MUSLUM" I thought that was pretty shocking too.
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nightspore Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 18:12

Quote (dunlooser @ Feb. 12 2011, 14:48)
You see, that, as an example, sounds like it might be funny to a 57 year old who is a dad, and a grandad, It wasn't. God I hate growing up.

It's best not to. I never have!  :laugh:
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ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 18:53

Quote (Gambit @ Feb. 12 2011, 22:38)
I thought it was shocking and kind of funny because I guess he hadn't looked outside his window lately hahaha.

As well on CNN they were interviewing someone from Egypt, and on the bottom little scrolling thingy they identified him as "RADICAL MUSLUM" I thought that was pretty shocking too.

Gambit

There must be alot of "shocking" out there.

SHOCKING on both points thankyou.

Nightspore died last night. Not quite so shocking but none the less it has to be said.

Check out he werewolf game if you want experience SHOCKING at its very best.
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Milamber Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 19:03

Quote (dunlooser @ Feb. 13 2011, 10:53)
Nightspore died last night. Not quite so shocking but none the less it has to be said.

Check out he werewolf game if you want experience SHOCKING at its very best.

At your hands none the less.
What a bragging wolf you are Kev.

Something funny to say.

A reporter was recently doing a story on a local Hospital.
Whilst being taken for a tour he noticed a man masturbating in his bed .
He turned to ask the Doctor whats up with this Doc.
He replied This man has a terrible condition if he does not relieve himself 5 times a day he is in terrible agony.
I see said the reporter.

Moving along to the next room the reporter noticed a Nurse giving another Male patient Oral sex.

He asked the Doctor whats up with this.
The Doc replied he has the same condition as the previous fella.
He just has private health cover.
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ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 19:13

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 01:03)

Great Milamber

You can see there's nowhere to hide. Not for a wolf and
that's a shocking joke but I have the cure.

Cut all the fingers off the one patient

And cut the K..b off the private patient.

SHOCKING true enough. We need more answers to the shocking state of the world today.
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nightspore Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 20:44

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 12 2011, 19:03)
Quote (dunlooser @ Feb. 13 2011, 10:53)
Nightspore died last night. Not quite so shocking but none the less it has to be said.

Check out he werewolf game if you want experience SHOCKING at its very best.

At your hands none the less.
What a bragging wolf you are Kev.

Something funny to say.

A reporter was recently doing a story on a local Hospital.
Whilst being taken for a tour he noticed a man masturbating in his bed .
He turned to ask the Doctor whats up with this Doc.
He replied This man has a terrible condition if he does not relieve himself 5 times a day he is in terrible agony.
I see said the reporter.

Moving along to the next room the reporter noticed a Nurse giving another Male patient Oral sex.

He asked the Doctor whats up with this.
The Doc replied he has the same condition as the previous fella.
He just has private health cover.

Very funny, Milamber - although no doubt you can expect an "I say I say I say - you're suspended from tubular.net" message from Matt any second now!  :laugh:
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Milamber Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 20:50

Really Why.... are we not all adults here :(
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nightspore Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 20:53

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 12 2011, 20:50)
Really Why.... are we not all adults here :(

Some of us are werewolves - eh Kev?  :laugh:  :laugh:
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Milamber Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 21:02

Besides G rated stuff bores the pogies out of me ;)

Kev the wolf on the other hand  :laugh:  :laugh:

What a guitarist though... blows you away.

He huffs and he puffs and he blows your house down.
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nightspore Offline




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Posted: Feb. 12 2011, 21:08

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 12 2011, 21:02)
Besides G rated stuff bores the pogies out of me ;)

Kev the wolf on the other hand  :laugh:  :laugh:

What a guitarist though... blows you away.

He huffs and he puffs and he blows your house down.

Yes, down with G stuff. Agree about Kev - he's an all round "nob" musician. But he'd better not give my house a blow job  :(  :(
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Matt Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 04:56

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 01:50)
Really Why.... are we not all adults here :(

Actually no, not all forum members are adults, some have joined quite a few years under the age of 16 in the past.

However, jokes that are a bit risque have never been banned (otherwise I would have been chucked off myself a few years back in the nun thread ;) ). Forum guidelines just talk about "excessively profane or vulgar" which gives a bit of leeway. If we (i.e. not just me, it would be agreement amongst more than one admin) think something is heading over the guidelines it is usually a comment to that effect rather than an instant ban!

On topic: I was shocked in another topic to read someone think tubular.net could afford to pay air fares and hotel accomodation for all it's forum members. Yikes!!!!! :D


--------------
"I say I say I say I say, what's got three bottles and five eyes and no legs and two wheels"
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ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 05:38

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 02:50)
Really Why.... are we not all adults here :(

No some of us are wolves.

SHOCKING but true.

I told some of my best and dirtiest jokes when I was 12 yrs old.

My son and daughter were telling me jokes when they were alot younger.

Also very SHOCKING, well it was for the missus.
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ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 05:57

Quote (dunlooser @ Feb. 13 2011, 11:38)

Stevie Wonder walks into the concourse at Augusta and bumps into Tiger Woods.
Stevie apologises and Tiger replies. " Stevie I love your music."

Stevie replies "Is that you Tiger? I admire you as a great golfer. In fact I've taken the game up myself. "

"Really Stevie. How do you manage to play the game. You're blind for f...s sake. ? "

Stevie replies. " O'h I've got a guy who steers me in both direction and direction of shot. He selects my club and is really helping to bring my handicap down. Do you fancy a game? Maybe with a small wager. I don't know maybe 5,000 bucks.

"F..ckin right I do"....... replies Tiger. " Name the place and time."

"Here, tomorrow, MIDNIGHT "

SHOCKING or what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Milamber Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 08:06

Hey Kev how did you come by your username?

Is "Dun" a slang word for something.

And if your music is anything to go by you are the furthest thing from a looser I've ever heard.

Please tell :)

Have you seen Stevie's new piano
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nightspore Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 08:40

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 08:06)
Hey Kev how did you come by your username?

Is "Dun" a slang word for something.

Short for "dunny"?  :laugh:
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ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 09:27

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 14:06)
Hey Kev how did you come by your username?

I'm glad you asked. I've just remembered.

About 6 yrs ago I was playing in a band called the Hickory Stick Boys. Fantastic band playing original songs, Joe Strummer, Steve Earle and a load of other stuff.
Every member was into different projects, duos, trio's etc.

We never once rehearsed. We just all new how to play.

Well the gigs got bigger until we were asked to do a Festival slot. We didn't get the main spot, so our job was to warm the crowd up for some big band. I can't remember who.

The gig went very well and we got the main spot the following year. After the gig we retired to one of the pubs opposite the main stage where I got to sign my first and only autograph. Ha Ha

So me and the guitarist start getting the Guiness down our necks whilst recieving a heavy bollocking from the rest of the band, cause we suddenly anounce we have another gig that night.

Off we go, me, George, and the missus, who was our rythm section on bohdran. Of course we arrive at the venue slightly pissed. The missus was driving soooo me and George got slightly, no not slightly but very stoned.

There was a kind of little pond in the corner of this pub and we had to set up in front of it. Just before we kicked off George stumbles whilst trying to strap his git on and nearly ends up in the water along with the amps which were switch ed on at the time. Well the audience, and me, nearly pissed ourselves. I couldn't play the first couple of numbers I felt I had to go around the folks there and apologise.

The gig starts with just Geoge playing a beautiful piece of guitar with the missus, who is stone cold sober, just playing a light rythm on bohdran.

I was mesmorised and joined the band for the third number, by which time I had drunk two or three pints of water and was feeling less drunk. However George got on the Guiness.

Well we played and played, nobody could stop us. We covered Deep Purple, Clapton, Cream, blues, folk and a whole pile of Jigs,and, reels.

The night ended with a very drunk George explaining to the audience that this show could never be repeated, " Were glad you enjoyed yourselves, and appreciate it was just
DONE LOOSER"

There you have it.
Alot of good times. All from music.

SHOCKING or what !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to finnish. Last summer I did my last gig ever,here in France.
On stage on a street in a little town.

Just on acoustic, with a mate on acoustic and the missus on that bohdran. I finished by playin Mikes finale. Nobody there seemed to know it, not even the guy who was with me.

Suddenly from nowhere an old french fella stands before me dancing shouting Tubular Bells, Tubular Bells!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't get rid of him and I know what your thinking.
It was George!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na........................................... just another fan.
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ex member 137 Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 10:08

Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 14:06)
Have you seen Stevie's new piano

Come on

Lets have the rest of it.

It had better be SHOCKING
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Silver Negus Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 12:55

I'm shocked enough reading all this stuff hahhahaha!
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Milamber Offline




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Posted: Feb. 13 2011, 14:17

Quote (dunlooser @ Feb. 14 2011, 02:08)
Quote (Milamber @ Feb. 13 2011, 14:06)
Have you seen Stevie's new piano

Come on

Lets have the rest of it.

It had better be SHOCKING

Suprising :O
Down Under this joke's an oldie.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano  
No
Neither Has he


Whats Shocking is that you never heard it :D

Another

Heard of the French kiss what about an Aussie kiss.
It's the same as the French one cept it's Down Under

Shocking or just lame :/
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281 replies since Feb. 12 2011, 14:48 < Next Oldest | Next Newest >

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