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Topic: Richard Branson, MO Fans, and the Tubular Belle< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
Inkanta Offline





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Posted: Mar. 31 2011, 20:39

Just received from Virgin's PR Department........

Virgin
Press Release
Embargoed for 1 April 2011

Richard Branson and the Tubular Belle Aid Irate Mike Oldfield Fans


“Days in the Bahamas are generally clear, calm, and downright heavenly,” said Mike Oldfield, describing what it is like to wake up every day in an island paradise. “Walks on the beach, a swim in the sea, picking up a guitar, playing catch with my sons. Downright idyllic. ” On 30 March, however, his perfect day was rudely interrupted. “It was just horrible! Just horrible! Frightening!” exclaimed Oldfield, describing the day’s events. Not a hurricane nor earthquake, but a plane-load of irritated fans, who two years later still fuming over Tubular Bells the Ultimate Edition, descended upon the sleepy island like a Klingon Bird of Prey.  Richard Branson, founder and CEO of the Virgin Group, was in the lead. But why?

Back up two years. In June 2009, Tubular Bells, a record that launched the career of young Mike Oldfield as a musician and Richard Branson as an entrepreneur (today the Virgin Group boasts 300 companies), was released as box set called Tubular Bells Ultimate Edition.  There was a limited version of the Ultimate Edition comprising 300 copies, which included a certificate signed by Oldfield. The limited version was available by special order through an online store for an increased price.  So far, so good. Except there was a mix-up with the distributors, which resulted in several copies going to the Amazon.com store rather than to the proper one. To complicate matters, the vinyl records themselves looked to be on the losing side of a game of Frisbee. Many fans were upset—they had paid extra to have a signed certificate. Other fans were quite happy, i.e., those ordering regular Ultimate Editions only to end up with a signed certificate.

Universal Music, Mike’s record company, did the best they could to make up for the mayhap. At no time was Oldfield ever implicated in the mix-up—according to all sources he had promptly signed and returned the certificates as specified.

“Imagine my mortification when here we are—my wife snapping pictures of jellyfish, the kids building a tubular bell sand castle, and me throwing a Jarre vinyl to the dog (he is great at catching those things! ) —when a plane cruises over our heads so close that you could see the spinach in the teeth of the Tubular Belle girl! [Editor’s Note: The “spinach” was probably a product of seagulls.] When I saw that bucket of bolts Tubular Belle aircraft, I knew immediately who it was. Branson just doesn’t know when to quit!”

“For the last two years, every facet of the Virgin Group has received massive complaints," according to Branson. "All companies within the Virgin Group have had their products boycotted—everyone from the airlines to mobile phones to Mates. One irate Mike Oldfield fan threw her mobile at a customer service person and landed him in hospital,” said Branson.  “This thing went viral! They seem to have no idea that the Virgin Group no longer has any association with Mike Oldfield. In fact, I blame him for the plummeting of Virgin stock nearly a year and a half ago—our Group has always done well in any global recession, so that [the recession] was just not to blame. It was that Mike Oldfield.”

Having had enough, Branson decided to take matters into his own hands—or plane, as the case may be. Tubular Belle emerged from retirement to spirit a fleet of invading fans to tell Oldfield how they felt. After getting an apology from Oldfield and a signed starfish, the group continued on to Branson’s private island—indeed, 40 lucky Mike Oldfield fans will spend the next week in their own paradise.  “It is much cheaper to fly 40 fans to the Islands than it is to have them and their friends boycotting Virgin.”  Did this appease the fans?  Not all of them.  “Oldfield’s dog chased me into the water and I got sand in my eyes,” said one. Another one was disappointed not to get a vinyl. There just isn’t pleasing some folks.  Oldfield declined further comment, except to say that he wishes he were still with Virgin so he could leave them all over again.  He then seemed to tap a message in Morse Code on a piece of driftwood.



Jeff of SFP Photography captured a picture of the Tubular Belle landing at Nassau International Airport, The Bahamas.  Thanks to Jeff for granting permission to include.


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"No such thing as destiny; only choices exist." From:  Moongarden's "Solaris."
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CJJC Offline





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Posted: Mar. 31 2011, 21:27

I'm guessing this press release was signed off by one U. R. Doltish?

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Blue Dolphin Offline





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Posted: April 01 2011, 02:08

Whahahaha!!!  :D

Best parts: "...and me throwing a Jarre vinyl to the dog (he is great at catching those things!"

"Oldfield declined further comment, except to say that he wishes he were still with Virgin so he could leave them all over again."

Brilliant!!! Happy April's fool!


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-The mark of a good musician is to play one note and mean it-

Mike Oldfield - 1980
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HR lover Offline





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Posted: April 01 2011, 06:25

For a moment I actually thought it was real. In Holland we always celebrate april fools day 4th of April not the first of April. It's a funny story though.

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wiga Offline





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Posted: April 01 2011, 06:30

Aah - another one!

This is a good one!! :D


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Blue Dolphin Offline





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Posted: April 06 2011, 04:14

Quote (HR lover @ April 01 2011, 12:25)
For a moment I actually thought it was real. In Holland we always celebrate april fools day 4th of April not the first of April. It's a funny story though.

Eh??? Dan weet je iets meer dan ik!

(You know something I don't know) ;)

As far as I know we always have April Fools' Day on April 1st in the Netherlands. How did you come up with April 4th? Or are you just joking?  :p


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-The mark of a good musician is to play one note and mean it-

Mike Oldfield - 1980
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Scatterplot Offline





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Posted: April 06 2011, 14:58

I saw Branson on SNL sat. night with Elton John. He did his best to help stop a dragon disaster. Micheal Caine helped him a good deal. All's well that ends well.....

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HR lover Offline





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Posted: April 06 2011, 15:07

Yes I'm very sorry I was mistaken for some reason. We celebrate April fool's day on the 1st of April too. Pardon me for the mistake.

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For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
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nightspore Offline





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Posted: April 06 2011, 18:58

Quote (HR lover @ April 06 2011, 15:07)
Yes I'm very sorry I was mistaken for some reason. We celebrate April fool's day on the 1st of April too. Pardon me for the mistake.

I think you were making your very own April 1 joke, HR  :D
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nightspore Offline





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Posted: April 07 2011, 01:42

Quote (Inkanta @ Mar. 31 2011, 20:39)
me throwing a Jarre vinyl to the dog

:laugh:  :laugh:
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CJJC Offline





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Posted: April 07 2011, 09:06

My Dark Star fanzine reference didn't seem to hit anyone. Never mind :)

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nightspore Offline





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Posted: April 07 2011, 09:10

Quote (CJJC @ April 07 2011, 09:06)
My Dark Star fanzine reference didn't seem to hit anyone. Never mind :)

It went over my head like a Jarre frisbee  :laugh:
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CJJC Offline





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Posted: April 07 2011, 09:18

Back in the early-mid 90s, regular Mike fanzine DARK STAR ran an April Fool which took the form of an advertisement for a coach tour of Holland with other Oldfield fans and Mike himself who would be in attendance and, in Holland itself, would stride with his fellow passengers through a field of tulips, strumming a guitar and singing to them.

The address for the travel agent running this alleged tour revealed the company's name to be "U. R. Doltish".

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/doltish


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nightspore Offline





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Posted: April 07 2011, 09:23

Quote (CJJC @ April 07 2011, 09:18)
Back in the early-mid 90s, regular Mike fanzine DARK STAR ran an April Fool which took the form of an advertisement for a coach tour of Holland with other Oldfield fans and Mike himself who would be in attendance and, in Holland itself, would stride with his fellow passengers through a field of tulips, strumming a guitar and singing to them.

The address for the travel agent running this alleged tour revealed the company's name to be "U. R. Doltish".

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/doltish

You should tell HRlover about that - he's Dutch. and probably strides through fields of tulips as though there were no tomorrow!   :O  :p  :laugh:
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Blue Dolphin Offline





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Posted: April 18 2011, 15:51

Quote (nightspore @ April 07 2011, 15:23)
Quote (CJJC @ April 07 2011, 09:18)
Back in the early-mid 90s, regular Mike fanzine DARK STAR ran an April Fool which took the form of an advertisement for a coach tour of Holland with other Oldfield fans and Mike himself who would be in attendance and, in Holland itself, would stride with his fellow passengers through a field of tulips, strumming a guitar and singing to them.

The address for the travel agent running this alleged tour revealed the company's name to be "U. R. Doltish".

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/doltish

You should tell HRlover about that - he's Dutch. and probably strides through fields of tulips as though there were no tomorrow!   :O  :p  :laugh:

Erm, if you haven't noticed, I'm Dutch too. Actually, I am proud to say the first person to join this forum back in 1999 (I'm nr. 2, right after Olivier) and the first Dutch one. ;)

But I didn't know that joke mentioned by CCJC. I have some old Dark Star magazines but I'm afraid they aren't as old as 1993. I do have a compilation once bought at Dark Star. Do you know if it is in there?


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-The mark of a good musician is to play one note and mean it-

Mike Oldfield - 1980
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nightspore Offline





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Posted: April 19 2011, 00:35

Quote (Blue Dolphin @ April 18 2011, 15:51)
Quote (nightspore @ April 07 2011, 15:23)
Quote (CJJC @ April 07 2011, 09:18)
Back in the early-mid 90s, regular Mike fanzine DARK STAR ran an April Fool which took the form of an advertisement for a coach tour of Holland with other Oldfield fans and Mike himself who would be in attendance and, in Holland itself, would stride with his fellow passengers through a field of tulips, strumming a guitar and singing to them.

The address for the travel agent running this alleged tour revealed the company's name to be "U. R. Doltish".

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/doltish

You should tell HRlover about that - he's Dutch. and probably strides through fields of tulips as though there were no tomorrow!   :O  :p  :laugh:

Erm, if you haven't noticed, I'm Dutch too. Actually, I am proud to say the first person to join this forum back in 1999 (I'm nr. 2, right after Olivier) and the first Dutch one. ;)

Ooh wow, I knew Olivier was the first member, but I've often wondered who number 2 was. I've never been to Holland, but coincidentally I was just mentioning to the Coyote over at the H about the Netherlands' reputation for fine cooking appliances.  :)
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HR lover Offline





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Posted: April 19 2011, 07:31

You know I've never seen a field of tulips in Holland in my life. Tulips originally come from Turkey I believe. It's not really dutch if you think about it.

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For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
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