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Topic: The Quotable TubularBoard, (the joy of quoting out of context)< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
Ebony Offline




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Posted: Aug. 16 2007, 20:15

Ooh, these do make me laugh!  And I've been quoted.  Twice!  *feels all big and important for a moment*
...Ok, moment's over!

Anyway, a couple of my favourites:

ImAFoolAndImLaughing on the qualities of Richard Branson -
"Don't forget he does a fantastic line in Olive Oil, too..."

Sweetpea on the Montreux '81 concert... -
"Just think if MO had gone Glam, for instance? *shudder* Instead we have a digital watch and a stylized marquee which seem charmingly retro."  
"Mike Frye's afro-mullet thing still alarms me"

...and why Punkadiddle was the best track to end the show -
"The obvious reason being shirtlessness, I take it? That's the icing on the cake. A cool tune, awesome guitar playing, and a bare sweaty chest. What more could a gal want??"

:D
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ImAFoolAndImLaughing Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 03:58

Quote (larstangmark @ Aug. 16 2007, 10:11)
-- Knock Knock.
— Who's there?
— Knock Knock.
— Who's there?
— Knock Knock.
— Who's there?
— Knock Knock.
— Who's there?
— Philip Glass.

:D :D :D

I did buy Philip Glass on vinyl, once - I was listening for 16 hours before I discovered the record was jumping... :(


--------------
"I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach."
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 04:44

Quote (ImAFoolAndImLaughing @ Aug. 17 2007, 08:58)
I did buy Philip Glass on vinyl, once - I was listening for 16 hours before I discovered the record was jumping...

I think that should be added to the official list of quotes, Tony:

I did buy Philip Glass on vinyl, once - I was listening for 16 hours before I discovered the record was jumping... - ImAFoolAndImLaughing

I did buy Philip Glass on vinyl, once - I was listening for 16 hours before I discovered the record was jumping... - ImAFoolAndImLaughing

I did buy Philip Glass on vinyl, once - I was listening for 16 hours before I discovered the record was jumping... - ImAFoolAndImLaughing
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bee Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 16:21

There are many people who post here that can write extremely amusing poetry, they are all worth a read, the one that sticks in my mind was from Hiawatha ( sadly haven't seen him around here in a while)

I asked the question, What is a Hayabusa?

To which he replied

"On Hayabusa"

I love to ride,I love to go fast
My engine roaring, louder than "Outcast"
And if you see me zooming past
It's me on my Hayabusa

Chorus
Hey and away we go
Smash the grass, flatten the snow
Bugs get cought in my teeth, of course
I'd rather be here than on a brown horse.

My bike thunders, gives your ears pain
Wide open throttle, I've got no shame
As long as the helmet protects my brain,
I'd like to be on a Hayabusa

Riding in the city, I make big noise
Causing traffic chaos: I love my toys!
And always, when given the choice,
I'd rather be on a Hayabusa

Chorus

You'll see me zooming, here and there.
With a motorbike, instead of a guitar.
But when you see me, it's not in a car,
You'll see me on a Hayabusa.

Some stay on, and others fall,
Some smash their bikes against a wall.
But it doesn't really matter at all,
When you happen to be on a Hayabusa.

Chorus

So if you feel a litle downtrod,
Ride art Hergest Ridge: tear up the sod!
You'll be a motorbikin' god,
It's good to be on a Hayabusa.

Chorus

Chorus

Brilliant, and it still makes me laugh!


No one has mentioned TheBigBellEnd, I am unable to find any of his posts at the moment, but he is so good at just popping in a small one line comment, particularly if the thread has been getting quite deeply and seriously involved. There's an awful lot of very interesting discussion and very many varied viewpoints come out, but his remarks are just classic, will keep looking for them.


--------------
....second to the right and straight on till morning....



You heard me before
Yet you hear me again
Then I die
Till I call me again
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 16:32

Quote (bee @ Aug. 17 2007, 21:21)
No one has mentioned TheBigBellEnd

Oh yes, he is the master of the classic one line comment - but of course the context is often so important. There's a good challenge here: can we find a few classic TheBigBellEnd one-liners that work outside their context?

Or even better - maybe he'll descend into this thread himself and inject a new one!
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 16:32

Thanks for pointing out this amusing poem, bee. I think my favorite moment is:

Some stay on, and others fall,
Some smash their bikes against a wall.
But it doesn't really matter at all,
When you happen to be on a Hayabusa.


Very clever and it certainly made me smile. :)

.....................


I would throw the cat into the fire so I could carry more albums - onion

You have a girlfriend who actually likes MO?? You lucky lucky bloke! Mine would rather gnaw off her own limbs than be forced to listen to him. - ImAFoolAndImLaughing

he would lay the CDs in conspicous places (by the computer, in the CD player, etc)... There was something about that twisted pipe that made the CD seem evil ("The Forbidden Music"). - Fox

the heaviest thing on this album was you when you stood on it. - The Big BellEnd

I think Mike has made preperations for his retirement, either that or a change of career, how do i know this.............. well a Mike oldfield works in my local branch of Natwest! lol couldn't belive it, sitting there waiting to be seen when i over hear the name, look round like an excited school kid, ready to dribble and look stunned - bugular tell

Jarre: *Mike, help me, I can't find the keys. and what are those 6 metal wires for??* - Piltdownboy on horseback 22

I don't have to re-create the important noises (like the TARDIS), we have to use the originals or people notice and write letters. - Mat Cochrane

i'm one of those people who first heard Mike's music on an informercial for "Pure Moods". [ tubularbills

It is a sad indictment of the (lack of) coverage most of Mike's career has gotten in this part of the world that it took me another TWELVE YEARS to track down the tune in question! - feverpitch96

Guys - PLEASE send no money to Tony Blair - Matt and I were joking!! - New World Man

maybe we can all chip in and buy him a pint and a curry - Marky

Well he does have the freedom of London and can heard sheep across London Bridge!!!! Surely that would be more fun than afternoon tea at the Palace!! - Ratty

I really look forward to a "special" percussionist sat there all alone waiting for his part to start up the vacuum cleaner, or stir a tea cup. - olracUK

When you're trying to kick a piano through a giant arch, or being carried madly away by a bunch of manic ants along a tunnel flashing with disco lights, you're not in any doubt about whether Mike still has a sense of humour. - Alan D

In many years time, if all this e-info is available to study ( how long does it all stay around - indefinitely?), I think it will make great reading and show how inspiring a musician, and how well loved a composer, Mike is. Poor old Beethoven didn't have that!! - bee


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 17:05

One-liners by The Big BellEnd:

1. Contributing to a discussion in February concerning a review in the April issue of Mojo magazine:

April already, I wish the weather would pick up a bit.


2. About anoraks:

I suffer from Anoachnaphobia.
[then, 4 minutes later, a second post ....]
ANORACHNAPHOBIA, I also suffer not looking at the monitor syndrome.


3. Following a post by Bevy:

sorry bevy I just like replying after you.


4. And finally, not quite a one-liner (it's a PS to a longer post), but still classic:

I've just got back in from a Christmas shopping trip and I think it is possible to overdose on dum de dum de dum de dum de dum de dum de dum de dum de jubilo.
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bee Offline




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Posted: Aug. 17 2007, 18:18

Oh yes, I'd forgotten those. He's an absolute legend. Still makes me laugh, a lot!

Found a couple more gems

In one thread, Tubularbelle posted some links to her contributions to You Tube. She's amazing, honest and real, & after several congratulatory comments from others The Big Bell End says, almost in a hushed whisper.....very brave

And another thread in Sept 06 about the hype surounding the film Snakes on a Plane, The BBE says...when Mike's plane got into difficultyduring the storm that inspired Five Miles out, the pilot relied heavily on the windscreen Viper's for a good view through the clouds

Incidentally, his list of hobbies/interests is also rather funny. Who else do you know that likes to run backwards very fast holding a pair of scissors, or who'd admit to collecting conkers?!

One more, on the subject of 1973 being a good year for music he said ...1973 also gave us Billion Dollar Babies
Hello Hooray. Elected. No More Mr Nice Guy. phew what a cracker.

phew what a cracker isn't on the album it's really a comment about the album.


And also in the same thread...I wonder if 1873 was a good year as well. Also I bet it was a goodyear when goodyear started to make goodyear tyres.

There are many more of his witty retorts worthy of a mention!


--------------
....second to the right and straight on till morning....



You heard me before
Yet you hear me again
Then I die
Till I call me again
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Aug. 19 2007, 03:08

Please, don't call me "You" with a capital Y. I'm neither a King nor the Pope. - Ugo

If I take you up correctly, you think about the 'saru', 'ranu' difference in connection with 'ta lu'. Well, at the first verse it's always 'ranu' and at the second verse it's always 'saru' and also the starting words of these lines aren't the same, why should these be the same? In connection with 'darihi ranirana': I always hear this as 'narihi ragiyana' in each repetition - EeTon

don't take it to pieces, adore it. Hum it in your head. Sing along. Drink whiskey and dance around. - olracUK

I'm a teatotaller and I can't dance or sing. - EeTon

It always reminds me of a dodgy porn movie sound track for some reason. - CuNimb

Oh come on. Do you hear a slow saxophone lead? Tell me, do you hear a slow saxophone lead? No? Well then?! - Nicolas

Mike didn't have a dodgy moustache when he wrote this, did he? - CuNimb

My only wish would be for it to be longer, so the other stuff would fall off the edge of the album. - Alan D

Is that MO´s trick  ? ...creating pure magic after 9 minutes? - onion

I think most of the women on these boards would say that any bloke who really starts getting going after a whole 9 minutes is pretty special, indeed! - ImAFoolAndImLaughing

it's all a bit too happy for my taste. - larstangmark

Well, being an Olfield fan alone proves that you're not a nincompoop!! - Piltdownboy on horseback 22

Spending so much time listening to a piece of music I dislike would qualify me for a degree in nicompoopness, I think. - Alan D

like when one was a child and after a while staring at some floral or textured wallpaper you would see a face that put the shits up you,there but not really there then when you couldn't see it it you'd search it out again just to find it still scared the crapola out of you. - The Big BellEnd

Yeh I have one of those images on my toilet floor that I search for every time I go in there. - TubularBelle

If you can find the face of Mike Oldfield in an old stale grilled cheese sandwich, you can make a lot of money on eBay. - hiawatha


--------------
"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Ugo Offline




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Posted: Aug. 19 2007, 21:03

Quote (Sweatpea @ Aug. 19 2007, 09:08)
Please, don't call me "You" with a capital Y. I'm neither a King nor the Pope. - Ugo

...And I'm not God either. Maybe M.O. is, but I'm not. :D

@ Sweatpea: thanks for including my quote. :) And here's a very old one from Rosko...

-What was Music VR for Mike?
-A new territory for an Internet story!! :laugh:


--------------
Ugo C. - a devoted Amarokian
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The Big BellEnd Offline




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Posted: Aug. 20 2007, 03:38

I must say that I'm over the moon with the response about my input on Tubular.net, I really am, because believe it or not there was a time when I felt my comment's where about as welcome as a skidmark on a Hotel towel."But don't quote me on that"

--------------
I, ON THE OTHER HAND. AM A VICTIM OF YOUR CARNIVOUROUS LUNAR ACTIVITY.
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bee Offline




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Posted: Aug. 20 2007, 03:59

:D Marvellous!

--------------
....second to the right and straight on till morning....



You heard me before
Yet you hear me again
Then I die
Till I call me again
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Aug. 20 2007, 06:17

Quote (bee @ Aug. 20 2007, 08:59)
Marvellous!

I second that!

And now we have one more quote from The Big BellEnd to add to our collection:

"don't quote me on that"
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Moz Offline




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Posted: Aug. 20 2007, 06:23

Famous last words, eh?  :D

(PS: thanks, Sweatpea, for the link to that quote)  :cool:


--------------
Twitter: @benbarden
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Aug. 21 2007, 12:47

if it were up to me radio play would be at least 2/3rds MO music - Jamie S

Consider the possibility that Mike named the album "Platinum" after discovering a random noise on the mastertape that went "Pltchnm!". - larstangmark

Where are the motorbike bits? I must be cloth-eared when listening to Crises, not at much as my Uncle, who stated 'Mike Oldfield almost learnt to play these instruments' - The Bell(end)

I remember it came out just before my summer holiday that year and i played it in the car and hotel and so many people liked it. I tried that with amarok and nearly got sectioned under the mental health act. - Marky

she is actually Eric Cartman`s hand and his other persona, J-lo who is really an imposter called Mitch Connor. Its all Crazy - Harmono

You mean to say, Tati, that in the bag of secrets was a bottle of SuperBlond from Tesco? - Korgscrew

I've generally thought of "caught in the middle of 105" as 105 people, but there was a time when I thought maybe it was degrees F. - Inkanta

Obviously 'caught in the middle of one hundred and five' is 105 minus 1 (to allow for the rhyme being five instead of four, as stated in the message above), this gives us 104 divided by 2 as its half way, which equals 52. Now allowing for a musical 'oldfield corection factor' which runs through all of mikes work = 0.8, you must know that! (for those of us not so mathematicaly proficient, you will remember that your teacher allways put this factor in to get the right answer, confusing the hell out of us). this gives a majic answer of 41.6, rounding this up to no decimal places gives 42. and there you have it. This works out exactly to the 'Hitch hikers guide to the galaxys' final answer to 'life the universe and everything' which is 42. So Mikes work as we so rightly know brings us a step closer to understanding the secret to 'life the universe and everything' - MO fan

I agree with quite a lot of what you say here for instance: 'one', 'toe', 'songs', 'in', 'Mike', and 'entire'. I can't quibble about any of those. - Alan D

boring post over - you can go back to debating Mikes use of nutcrackers in his other records, or whatever it is you good people do. - ImAFoolAndImLaughing

So an A- isn't that good?? My word you're harsh. - raven4x4x

Jeez... one spelling mistake and the whole worlds turned upside down - Piltdownboy on horseback 22

Looks kind of strange that, among these hardcore Oldfield fans, a new verison of Earth Moving is more supported than Tubular Bells 4. - hiawatha


--------------
"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Aug. 25 2007, 05:09

Sweatpea, on her issues with the private message archive:

"Okay, I need to stop thinking about this."
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Jesse Offline




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Posted: Aug. 25 2007, 07:57

maybe i should avoid posting here. It might hunt you for the rest of your life  :O
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Aug. 28 2007, 06:29

It's actually quite annyoing to get that smiley when you end the text in a parenthesis with an exclamation mark. There was nothing "wink,wink" about my guitar being stolen!!! - larstangmark

I'm listening to "Surfing" right now. The vocaloid sounds like Jon Anderson, but more human. - hiawatha

I remember many years ago being at a performance of Tristan and Isolde in Liverpool, and there was a chap sitting next to me with a wristwatch that had a very loud (I mean, quite amazingly loud), tick. Now, most of the time the music drowned it out. But whenever the music went quiet, there would be this steady ticking. The worst of it was that sometimes the sound would disappear completely - when he folded his arms and the watch was buried in the folds of his jacket. Then he'd unfold his arms five minutes later - and away we went again - tick tock tick tock. After about a couple of hours I  couldn't bear it - I was just waiting for the next batch of ticking, completely unable to attend to the music ..... So eventually I asked him, ever so politely, if he'd mind putting his watch in his pocket - and he apologised profusely, said yes, it was a very loud tick wasn't it, and from there on the performance was tick-free. But here today, 25 years later, I remember nothing of that performance of Tristan - just the bloody watch!- Alan D (on how aggravating Amarok is to him)

I think that Mike doesnt realise sometimes how people would just like to hear him play guitar.  He could record a whole days worth of playing and doodling about on an acoustic or an electric (but both would be better) and it would probably be the most popular thing - Ray


--------------
"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Aug. 28 2007, 06:35

Quote (Jesse @ Aug. 25 2007, 07:57)
maybe i should avoid posting here. It might hunt you for the rest of your life  :O

Oh, don't let that stop you from posting, Jesse! Once you're caught, we don't actually cook you on a spit. We just poke you for a while with spears.


--------------
"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Jesse Offline




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Posted: Aug. 28 2007, 11:13

Only poking and no cooking? how barbaric indeed.
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