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Topic: The Quotable TubularBoard, (the joy of quoting out of context)< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
moonchildhippy Offline




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Posted: Oct. 17 2007, 17:59

Quote (Sweetpea @ Oct. 14 2007, 08:21)
Quote (moonchildhippy @ Oct. 13 2007, 16:22)
I guess Incantations is the ultimate case of you shouldn't judge an album by it's cover. The Incantations cover gives me the heebie-jeebies   :O .

LOL. I have yet to understand why the Incantations cover is so actively disliked. Is it a case of a vocal minority, or does the image somehow flout all laws regarding what is artistically acceptable? Admittedly, I only have the CD and I've never been exposed to the larger LP version. Maybe I'm just missing out on the full horrific effect?

...................................................

I

Yep it flouts laws of good taste, now if that was Mike on the cover looking as he did between Tubular Bells and Ommadawn, that would be fine :)  :D .
As no doubt many of you will know I like long(er) haired hippyish men :D, but on the Incantations cover, Mike has swapped his bell bottomed jeans for slacks, the long hair has gone   :O. Out goes the hippy look for a  boring sports jacket and shirt, and I feel this ages Mike well  beyond his 24-25 years, sorry Mike , I know we all make mistakes with  fashion sometimes. Inc is definitely not an album to be judged by it's cover.


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I'm going slightly mad,
It finally happened, I'm slightly mad , just very slightly mad

If you feel a little glum to Hergest Ridge you should come.


I'm challenging  taboos surrounding mental health


"Part time hippy"

I'M SUPPORTING OUR SOLDIERS

BRING OUR TROOPS HOME NOW!!
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Oct. 20 2007, 12:46

I remember programming the 'didlydidlydidly' descanding guitar tune from Ommadawn part one in my old Nokia phone!!! - Delfin

Tomorrow we plan to move into the garage, leaving the house purely for the CDs and books. - Alan D

Weightless, if we were in a pub, we would be fighting now - Music, the ancient language...

I get rather cross when people talk about Tubular Bells as The Exorcist music, it's not The Exorcist its Tubular Bells FFS :p !!! - moonchildhippy

Caractacus was the ancient British market gardener who changed his name after successfully crossing a carrot with a cactus. The new plant was so commercially successful that the Romans wanted a piece of the action, and invaded Britain. They took Caractacus back to Rome with them but he wouldn't divulge his secret and it was lost. This explains why we no longer find carrot-cactuses in this country.

Corryocactus was a different chap altogether. He was the only ancient Roman chef ever to visit India, and after being introduced to chicken corry and beef corry, he became famous throughout the ancient world for inventing cactus corry. - Alan D

Ah... another little-known fact from Alan D... rendered even more little-known by the fact that he makes 'em up... :p - ImAFoolAndImLaughing

I'm just shaking my head here..partly in laughter and partly in sadness at all the University education going to waste. - olracUK

You have to sleep in your hire car on a freezing cold Sept 4th Edinburgh night, right in front of a booming nightclub coz u ran out of petrol. Also have to explain this to the police several times, and provide a puzzling source of amusement to drunken revellers at three in the morning!!!!And when nature calls, try not to pee up the side of the wall in full view of a hospitals cctv and intercom system, explaining what you are doing to security guards is only natural and you are not trying to break in!!! Yep, that was TB11 live and yes, i am a fantatic. - Ratty


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Oct. 21 2007, 04:08

as for punk-rock... if you compare it to hip-hop, it suddenly seems a fascinating, inventive, melodic genre crafted by true artists! - Navaira

Surely, one of these categories fits you! I even have one for those of you who think that the Alan Parsons Project is a sort of hovercraft. - Hiawatha

The results so far seem to suggest that Mike Oldfield fans don't live beyond the age of 60. - Alan D

being an Oldfield fan is not necessarily harmful to one's health (and in some of our cases, is probably responsible for it's improvement) unless one: 1) Takes up smoking to be just like Mike; 2) Gets so angry at some of the topics (or music) that the blood boils and the blood pressure rises; 3) Becomes distracted driving while listening to MO and runs off the road or into another vehicle; 4) Falls asleep driving while listening to ____ [insert favorite calming, sleepy works]; 5) Dances too fervently and injuries oneself - Inkanta

all you under 20's are very well read or are musical geniuses - Having said that you've got to conside i'm an engineer - so by definition tone deaf with no taste!!!   the main diofference between the older fans and the younger ones is the fact the younger ones know which guitar was played at which concerts and who the drmmers best mate was whereas the older ones just remember fgoing to the concert!!!! - Ray

I was at a club a few months ago and some young boy walked past me and said, 'outta the way granma!' Who told him I was a granma? - TubularBelle

Tatoo.....well it has to be a picture of the scots dragoon guards playing tattoo at edinburgh castle - but I think there would not be much of you left to see. - Ray

When I was about eight years old, we used to be able to buy little paper square things that you soaked in water and laid on your skin. Then, when you pulled off the paper after a few minutes, you were left with an impressive tattoo. (It washed off after a few days of course.) Does that count? - Alan D

.........................................

And another contender for funniest thread title: "Are there any attractive, single girls in my area?" by David mar


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Nov. 05 2007, 07:12

this site isn't my life - Korgscrew

OK, OK, I know. It's completely pointless and not even slightly funny, is it? But I had this ridiculous urge to write it, and it was easier to give in to the urge than resist it. It's like the chap who emptied a plate of mashed potatoes over another chap's head. When asked why he did it, he replied, 'I couldn't think of anything else to do.' - Alan D

I like it when Mike talks "Technicianish" or "Engineerish", it gives me a very nice impression that he really knows what he's doing. - Ugo

.....................

(from 'What genre would you like Mike to tackle next?' )

MANGA - The Big BellEnd

As far as I was aware Manga is a visual art form: in paintings and animations. I've never heard of manga music before. - raven4x4x

After he conquers manga (Japanese comic books), he can turn his attention to mastering Olympic-level footbow competition, completing the Alaska-Siberia bridge, and writing really good cheese souffle recipes. - Hiawatha

^_^ ^_^ OMG MIKE OLDFIELD IS DOING MANGA!!!!1 ^_^ ^_^ - Sir Mustapha

I'd like to see him do tap dancing, fire eating, and lion taming next.  All at the same time, of course! - familyjules

can you picture the scene. Mike,whip in one hand pint of the black stuff in the other struggling with the rolly in his mouth as he explains to the lions that does'nt want to use the whip but he will if he has to. - The Big BellEnd


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Nov. 23 2007, 14:29

Mike has a nicer singing voice than Bob Dylan - Man In The Rain

I suppose Light and Shade is probably responsible for those mechanistic registration requests. Spam robots must be attracted to music composed on computers, like moths to flames? - Alan D

now I know what to tell the psychiatrist.  I have MDID! (MOTS-delay-induced-dementia). - Matt

A real musician should be proud of wearing musical notes on his chest. - Ugo

if "un-shirt" is one of the options surely any other options would be moot - Ebony

the delay in the release of the CD is because of the ongoing discussions with the aliens to introduce them to the world without causing panic. - Matt

It's so obvious when you point it out, Matt. This has been going on longer than we think. That weird bent tubular bell in the sky isn't and never was a tubular bell. It's a UFO. - Alan D

Mike will just hit it with a hammer, and Bobs ur uncle, craft full of senseless alians and the beginnings of another Tubular Bells album,two birds with one stone and another delay. - sidney

Deamons are everywhere getting rid of your AMAROK tape will not keep you safe. - molich

It is obviously an unwise thing to have Amarok on the car. I wouldn't play it almost anywhere if it's not a place where you feel you're not gonna lose any relationship because of the music you play!!!! - Delfin

It isn't Amarok's fault - Sir Mustapha

I don't like coffee, but I like teas, and I ride home through a westerly breeze, and so I like out of all these, a fresh hot cuppa. - TimHighfield


......................................

Another favorite thread title: 'I wonder why Mike didn't groove?' by David Mar


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Nov. 23 2007, 16:04

Quote (Sweetpea @ Nov. 23 2007, 19:29)
It isn't Amarok's fault - Sir Mustapha

Alan D: Oh yes it is.

Sir Mustapha: Oh no it isn't!

Alan D: Oh yes it is.  

Etc etc.
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Matt Offline




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Posted: Nov. 24 2007, 18:05

I was driving when I first tried to listen to Amarok, expecting it to be similar in style to Ommadawn. I nearly crashed my car... - Moonchildhippy

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"I say I say I say I say, what's got three bottles and five eyes and no legs and two wheels"
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Ray Offline




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Posted: Nov. 27 2007, 18:38

Very Funny to read this.   Excellent.  So good i can't think of anything funny-er.
:cool:


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Looking out over the harbour in Peel.......
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Matt Offline




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Posted: Dec. 15 2007, 06:03

"But as long as we 'So Fa So...',
Let it MO. Let It MO. Let it Mo."  - Sweetpea


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"I say I say I say I say, what's got three bottles and five eyes and no legs and two wheels"
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Ray Offline




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Posted: Dec. 15 2007, 11:09

Quote (larstangmark @ Sep. 02 2007, 09:40)
Talking of usernames, I just recently realized "baggiesfaninessex" was supposed to be "baggies-fan-in-essex"! I never thought that "baggies-fanines-sex" made sense, but that's what I read. What's a "baggie" by the way? Something you have in Essex?

Must admit is did get caught by this too,  but now i see it, It is "Maggies Fan In Essex" - with a cold!

Ray  :cool:


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Looking out over the harbour in Peel.......
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Dec. 27 2007, 21:42

I can't go 15 mins without listening to part 4 of Platinum - Ebony

a 60 minute combination of sides 1 and 2 would be even better with parts of side 2 spliced into part 1 so that the finale of side 1 is the overall climax.  Or would that just be too Frankenstein's monster-ish? - familyjules

Oh yes please, a 60 minute Ommagasm - moonchildhippy

Everything Mike has done is full of sexual innuendo. Bragging is a recurring theme. It's all about the length (FMO) and density (Platinum) of a tubular or oblong object (TB, HR, the QE2!) that wants (or needs) to be Exposed. However, these psycho-sexual themes were dropped after the Crises album that has an obvious castration theme (a phallic object in the night, surrounded on all sides by cold water, the de-sexualized man watching from the shore). So I'd say it's kiddie safe from Discovery and on. - larstangmark

Shoudnt this be under "Hunting Dead Aliens in the Frozen Arctic Tundra" thread - 3Wheeler

I'll have to tell you it was no fun in class 5M being the only boy dressed as an SS Stormtrooper. - The Big BellEnd

You were lucky to have clothes. We made our own using old brown paper bags and fish glue. - Alan D

ommadawn is okayish... - Jesse


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Jan. 07 2008, 02:54

I don't think it's too short. How long do you want it to be, if 12 minutes is too short for you? - Rileman

This thread may have it's plus and minus point's but I don't get a large percentage of it.
I also think it is making divisions among poster's, hopefully my comment's don't multiply any ill feeling that is going around, I mean I don't want to make a Decahedron out of a Rhombus.
In all honesty when it comes to math I'm a bit of a square. - The Big BellEnd

I'm not sure exactly what I'm responding to. So I thought I'd just chat away pleasantly - Alan D

"Music of the Spheres" is an agnagram of "Secretes Mush of Phi" - Matt


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Jan. 31 2008, 02:43

Jarre is King of France and Oldfield is King of England, but no wars this time, OK? - KDK

Until Mike does something like "Zoolook", he is the clear winner - hiawatha

Well if Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" is "classical" or even "music", then MOTS can be "classical music". - Markus K.

I am sure you don't really want any support from Rays bottom thank you very much! - Matt

The atrociousness of Don Alfonso may be the only thing in the whole universe that I'm certain about. - Alan D

I normally drop off around The Great Plain and miss out on the rest of the album (unless Altered State wakes me up!  - Ebony


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Feb. 18 2008, 01:19

There's a sort of repetitive piping pipsqueakiness about a certain kind of Mike Oldfield tune that is almost painful.  Nothing to do with good taste, nor, I think, curmudgeonliness. More like self-preservation. - Alan D

what are you waiting for?!?!  Buy it.  NOW!!  Don't just sit there!!!- familyjules

im listening to To Be Free more and more and im sorry but im starting to really like the dumb song! - MusicallyInspired

my epic ode was composed in an explosive creative burst last night, in anticipation of a possible future event. I'll let you know when I find an appropriate album to attach it to. - Alan D

He's done the spheres, now I think it's time to single out Uranus. - The Big BellEnd

I played Amarok to my old grandmother and she said 'I hate punk music'. - TheMan

I finally got it!!! So i'm a little slow with the times, but i'm from the USA and mike oldfield doesn't exist in the USA as we all know. - tubularbills


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Alan D Offline




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Posted: Feb. 18 2008, 03:45

Sweetpea Quotes:

1. On existential loneliness, and the invention of new words (all in the same sentence):

Does nobody else care that chronology has been upheaved?

2. On the importance of wearing glasses to discern the difference between a computer and a trampoline:

That'll show me to jump on the computer without my glasses.

3. On the paradise of childhood, and innocence lost at Tubular.net:

You guys have tainted my innocent childhood memories with your talk of multiple carrots and extended footage.
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Matt Offline




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Posted: Feb. 26 2008, 17:16

Commenting on Tubular carpets and toilet roll:

"I remember with emotion a few years ago when the substance that leaves my body directly to the toilet was shaped exactly like the famous logo. Felt criminal to flush it." - Olivier


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"I say I say I say I say, what's got three bottles and five eyes and no legs and two wheels"
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Feb. 27 2008, 14:05

I'm all for the interpretive dance, but I think I'll need to moe than slightly sample the India Pale Ales before I wear sparkly tights in public! - Ebony

For so long now, I've been incorrectly using the word 'uphooverality' rather than 'uphoovementation'. I am just SO embarassed. - Clotty

If the red amp is dominant, and black the subdominant, and if you used red for the left channel and black for the right, would the music be in the key of green minor, or blue flat? - Alan D

Sometimes things just feel good to use and encourage you to use them well, which can be what makes all the difference. If you think the red one sounds better, it may well start becoming true... - Korgscrew

What about this business of shaking the wires to get the electrons flowing more freely in the loud bits .....? - Alan D

I'm glad I have ignored all the reviews, especially the ones that go "I have been a fan of MO since 1933 but ..." - trcanberra

Were there topless virgins dancing around the guitar shaped pool? Come on The Sun - we demand to be told! - olracUK

Hope its true. I quite like the idea Mike has his own Tubular Bells carpets everywhere he goes. Like the all the best things he does it hovers in that dizzy zone between being fantastically cool but also wonderfully naff - TOBY


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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Sweetpea Offline




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Posted: Feb. 28 2008, 03:59

Quote (Alan D @ Feb. 18 2008, 03:45)
Sweetpea Quotes:

I find Alan's captions more entertaining than the quotes!


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"I'm no physicist, but technically couldn't Mike both be with the horse and be flying through space at the same time? (On account of the earth's orbit around the Sun and all that). So it seems he never had to make the choice after all. I bet he's kicking himself now." - clotty
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trcanberra Offline




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Posted: Feb. 28 2008, 05:37

Man - I made it into a quote.  I think I can probably retire to a beach somewhere now.
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Jesse Offline




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Posted: Feb. 28 2008, 06:27

Quote (Sweetpea @ Dec. 27 2007, 21:42)
I can't go 15 mins without listening to part 4 of Platinum - Ebony

a 60 minute combination of sides 1 and 2 would be even better with parts of side 2 spliced into part 1 so that the finale of side 1 is the overall climax.  Or would that just be too Frankenstein's monster-ish? - familyjules

Oh yes please, a 60 minute Ommagasm - moonchildhippy

Everything Mike has done is full of sexual innuendo. Bragging is a recurring theme. It's all about the length (FMO) and density (Platinum) of a tubular or oblong object (TB, HR, the QE2!;) that wants (or needs) to be Exposed. However, these psycho-sexual themes were dropped after the Crises album that has an obvious castration theme (a phallic object in the night, surrounded on all sides by cold water, the de-sexualized man watching from the shore). So I'd say it's kiddie safe from Discovery and on. - larstangmark

Shoudnt this be under "Hunting Dead Aliens in the Frozen Arctic Tundra" thread - 3Wheeler

I'll have to tell you it was no fun in class 5M being the only boy dressed as an SS Stormtrooper. - The Big BellEnd

You were lucky to have clothes. We made our own using old brown paper bags and fish glue. - Alan D

ommadawn is okayish... - Jesse

ommadawn is okayish? did i say that?
I think, hmmm, no. let's not open my mouth again  :/
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