What Are You Driving?
A new green Mercedes S500
What does that say about you?
I like comfort
What do you like about it?
It does everything for you. The steering wheel lifts up to let you in and the doors lock themselves. I particularly like the GPS navigation system. I can programme in my local pub or restaurant and it takes me there. It's big enough for all my 5 kids to squeeze into. There's a radar so if anything comes close it lets me know. The only downside is that it's large so parking can be a nightmare.
Why did you buy it?
I want to be comfortable when I'm driving and not hassled.
What kind of driver are you?
I need to drive slowly because my daughter suffers from car sickness.
Any bad habits?
Once in Ibiza I ended up on a crash barrier. I was banned for a year for drink driving. I learned my lesson.
What was your first car?
A mini, which cost £60 from a scrap garage.
What do you use your car for?
Going to restaurants, pubs, tootling about town and theme parks for the kids.
Have you ever experienced roadrage?
No. I don't understand it.
What sort of state is your car in?
I like to keep it perfect and beautiful. I get annoyed with people who drop sweet wrappers. I do smoke in the car but the ash tray is tucked away.
What's in the boot and the glove compartment?
Nothing but manuals.
Have you ever had sex in a car?
Yes, but not in this one. Not yet. I did in my Porsche. It's true what they say with the windows - they do get steamed up.
What do you listen to on the road?
I hate having music on. I've gone off radio with DJs chattering like idiots. I love the silence of a quiet car. I just listen to the computer's instructions.
What would be your dream car?
I'm driving it. I've had all the cars I want: Ferrari, Porsche, Bentley.
Who would be you dream passenger?
It would be me. When I was banned I enjoyed being the passenger. It's tiresome having to steer. I enjoy looking around. I don't like people who chatter.
Mike Oldfield Tubular.net