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Guitars10th May 2010 – Nassau
Muse
It was so nice to listen to a new track after all this time… Muse brings a feeling of subtlety. Quiet, tender and loving are the words that come in mind while listening to it. One of the wonderful moments of our everyday that would go well with this tune is going to Eugene's bedroom in the morning. Peeking through the door to check if he is awake, catching his first smile and giving him his first kiss of the day.
We had some great times during these 12 days with my sisters and stepmother, but catching up and making memories that will last us another year or two was physically and emotionally tiring. It was sad to say goodbye at the airport but in a way I was also very happy to get back to the routine that I love so much. Because I stopped writing while my family was here, I had a hard time convincing myself to get back doing it. Yes, another one of my folders! Even if I am getting better at finishing what I start, I do still struggle with it and had to tame thoughts like "It is useless…", "you have nothing interesting to say anyway…", and "who cares…" But the truth is that I care! I want to listen to Michael's music and put the experience into writing for no one else but me - I need to do it and finish it.
My bag is all ready for tomorrow, packed with a pair of riding boots and hat. This trip to Florida for the day is really exciting because I will meet a nice young mare that I am hoping to buy. It will be an early start at 5am for my friend and me: first we fly to Miami and then we take a short flight to Ocala in a single engine plane. I am really not sure about this little plane, but like Michael said "it will be an adventure!"
Jake was absolutely delighted at the news that he will be spending all day with his baby sitter, no one to boss him around :-) But, he did say this morning that he will be missing me tomorrow bigger than a Brachiosaurus. Little one, like his daddy, he always finds the words to make me laugh and feel better. I haven't left yet and I am already wondering how I am going to do without Michael and the boys for a day.
Well, mommy is off tomorrow…
11th May 2010 – Nassau
All I can think about is flying through the clouds sitting in this tiny plane...
Do you know those rings that change colors depending on your mood? Well, today my ring went through all the colors of the rainbow and just could not make up its mind.
I knew the plane was small when I made the reservation but not that small! Our jaws just dropped when we looked outside the lounge where we had to meet our pilot and saw this tiny thing waiting for us. Scary…Oh yes! It was the first time I had flown in such a small machine. My friend Trish was so relaxed about it once she got in and saw how new the plane was, she was just incredible. I kind of started panicking when we received our safety briefing about how to open the parachute for the plane in case something happened to the pilot, it was then that I realized how crazy this all idea was to travel to God knows where and how to see a horse - I exclaimed to my friend "This mare better be good!"
 Don't even get me started on taking off, like a child I just held on Trish and closed my eyes. The higher we went, the more scared I was. Then we flew over the Everglades. While my friend was admiring the reflection of the sun on the landscape, my thoughts were on the alligators living down there and how delighted they would be to have us for dinner if we crashed.
Luckily, playing with the remote control for the music that we could listen in our headphones kept me busy for a while. Some friend that I am! Poor Trish was so patient with me and didn't complain once about the ever changing channel :-) We finally flew calmly on our way to Ocala until we started our descent. Flying through a cloud is something really surreal and the turbulence it caused for our little plane was worse than a good roller coaster ride. Once we landed, even with my legs feeling like jelly, I managed to rush outside the airport to have a smoke. Yeah, we made it!
The whole day had great timing. The fact that the lady was late to pick us up at the airport was great and gave me the time to get myself together. I was a whole new woman after few cigarettes, a diet coke and a sandwich.
 Dehlia… She is just as I imagined her. She is a wonderful looking mare, sweet and athletic. In a few words, she is my girl and I knew it the second I looked into her eyes. This whole adventure was just for that, to be able to look into her eyes and have the confirmation that she is just like I believed she was, before committing to having her living with us in Nassau for the next twenty years. It was worth it and Trish's wonderful pictures of us speak for themselves :-)
Now that we'd found the horse, we had to somehow get home and that meant going back flying in our "bee". I don't know if it was because I was so happy about Dehlia but I found our way back much more relaxing and inspiring. Believe it or not, Trish managed to fall asleep :-) During that time, looking outside through the window, I was in shock at the beauty of the sky. I had never seen anything so beautiful. The clouds were like a landscape with hills and mountains made of cotton balls, and it had this incredible atmosphere created by the sunlight… Wow… It was just amazing and I will never forget it.
After a long day full of emotions, we safely arrived to Nassau. "Home sweet home" Trish and I sang in duet. It was just great to get back home and have a group hug with my babies and my husband. The right word to summarize this trip is AWESOME. I believe that tonight, I appreciated my glass of white wine like no one else :-)
(These pictures were taken by Trish, have a look at her work - it is wonderful - http://trishvandenberg.deviantart.com/gallery/#_popular )
12th May 2010 – Nassau
I am still recovering from yesterday… Michael and I finally got to watch this movie named Avatar. What a wonderful epic...and the graphics are just incredible. The connection to nature and the spirituality involved in doing so is beautifully pictured in it. It is incredible how big and important I feel in our apartment, surrounded by my family. And how tiny I felt when I was faced with the immensity of the sky. To be in touch with nature really gives someone's ego a dose of perspective. When I look at the sky and the stars, I still feel absolutely terrified by the sight of how big the universe is.
Since yesterday, I have been looking at Michael with so much admiration. Now that I've had a little taste of flying in a single engine plane, I can image how much courage and work it took him to get his pilot's license. That's my man… He is such a big inspiration for me.
13th May 2010 – Nassau
Cochise
Cochise gives out pretty much the same energy of how I felt traveling to Ocala. This track very much takes you on a journey with the sound of its melody.
Today, we got the contracts for a new home and a horse… wow… A few months ago while we were in St Thomas, this is what I wished for and now it is real. It is overwhelming to be faced with so many blessings. I appreciate it so much and really try my best to never ever take it for granted. It is so exciting to think that we will finally stay still, like landing for good. Nassau is our home and I think even a hurricane won't take us away from this island.
Michael and I went for our motorbike ride this afternoon. As we were driving side by side on our way out from the parking lot, I looked at him and thought, "We are really good together". He makes me so happy and as long as we are together, I know that life is good.
14th May 2010 – Nassau
Embers
Honestly, since I have started the diary, this is the first track that I have never heard before. It gives out this futuristic energy, and while listening to it I keep picturing being lost in the middle of an infinite space.
This morning, Michael took the boys for a "Djouver Grand Prix" around the car park while I went to the riding center and the Ministry of Agriculture to arrange Dehlia's transport to Nassau. It will take about three to four weeks to get all the papers necessary for her import and only then she will be ready to come to Nassau. Even though they keep reassuring me that all the horses that have come to the island traveled very well, I will only be happy when she gets here safe and sound. The best I can do about it is to get her insured and let go… I am sure that this experience will be a good lesson in patience for me :-)
Jake and I went to his new school, had a look around and met his teacher. He is quite excited about it. He is looking forward to going on Tuesday to spend the day and make lots of new friends.
15th May 2010 – Nassau
Summit Day
Happy birthday to my wonderful husband and happy anniversary to us :-) Eight years since we got married and sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, time just flies.
The day started with Jake and me preparing a full English breakfast for Michael. Frying bacon and eggs is a tradition on special days and we keep it healthy the rest of the time.
It was fun watching the FA cup final on the boat. We arrived as Chelsea scored their goal and we screamed like crazy until we realized that we were cheering for the wrong team. Oh dear… Then in a matter of seconds we were against the guys dressed in blue. Ah yes, that is football!
Today's track really touched my soul like nothing else I have experienced before. I am writing this down and I am crying like a baby in front of my computer. This track made me so emotional, as soon as it started the tears came rolling down my eyes. Why? I didn't know until I asked Michael what this track was all about. That is why I am doing this diary, I don't want to forget how I feel right now.
Michael just told me that this track was done after he'd read a book on climbing Mount Everest and the summit day. I just love its passion and everything about it; I immediately connected with it. I love this track so much.
We had a lovely walk on the beach. Feeling as light as a feather after listening to Summit Day, I was holding on to my wonderful husband like a boat that needs its anchor so it won't get lost at sea. Then it was time for some chocolate cake and a bit of fun. The sight of Eugene with chocolate all over his face and trying to blow up a balloon made us laugh big time, this baby is sometimes a real clown :-) We had a wonderful day.
16th May 2010 – Nassau
Out of Sight
Last night, when Michael showed me some pictures that he received for an interview he had to do today, it was like peaking into the future and seeing what Jake will look like. He is so much like his father, he looks the same and has this magic in him - that spark, this "je ne sais quoi" that life gave them.
Out of Sight makes me think of the boys when they are excited and over tired, when they go absolutely crazy or as we say at home "when they go Bananas". The last note of the track really made me laugh, that is Mike's special "Boo" effect :-)
It was great this morning to go to the local horse show, take some pictures and support the children I used to teach. To say "hi" to the parents, spend some time with the kids and chat with my friends made me feel part of a community. It is something that I am really not used to, but I like it very much. The riding center has been talking about asking me to take back my position as an instructor there… Michael thinks that it is a wonderful idea, so I guess that, sometime in the future, I will get to teach all my little children again.
17th May 2010 – Nassau
B Blues
 Here we go again! The horse is not even here yet and it is already a source of worry and stress. Tonight, during dinner, I could not look at Michael without saying "Don't even start, I know what you are going to say". I know that my folder is getting triggered and for sure it won't be the last time. It is up to me to master it, get control over it; I feel like I have to tame a lion :-) I really want to make this journey with Dehlia wonderful, to enjoy the sport that I love. At least now, I am aware of it - I'll get there somehow.
This afternoon, I had this need to work on a picture that I took few days ago. This silk cotton tree is next door to our new house; it calms me down and anchors me to the real meaning of life.
This track is quite a big question mark for me. I don't know if I like it or not. The sound of the electric guitar is beautiful but somehow I can't relate to it.
18th May 2010 – Nassau
Four Winds
Jake's first day at school! Was he looking forward to go to school? Ah, yes! He went straight into his classroom, looked back, said "Bye Mum…", and that was it. In a way, it was more difficult for me.
He was very proud and had already made lots of friends when I picked him up. His teacher knew everything about Eugene's accident and complimented Jake on his social skills and math. "He talks a lot", she said… Yeah, that's my boy :-)
These are four very different tracks… South Wind is my favorite.
I had a great time this evening, shopping online searching for a nice bridle for Dehlia. Like Jake calls it "a buy a fix it" always does the trick for a day or two, that's what shopping is all about.
19th May 2010 – Nassau
Enigmatism
Today's lesson would be "live in the present"… Another great link that Sally sent me was http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mKJGOiOQBE
In theory, this concept is easy to grasp but the reality is another matter. When you have a wonderful time, there is always the question of whether it will be possible to remember everything and carry it with you for the rest of your life without forgetting the small details. And when times are more challenging, how do you keep your cool and enjoy the present? Like, when I am in a hurry and Eugene won't get dressed… Well thinking about it, some days getting him dressed turns into a real comedy show. You could easily find the three of us trying to catch him, Jake with a piece of chocolate as bait, mummy ready with the nappy, and daddy trying to keep everybody under control.
We started our day with a group hug… Well, except for Eugene who behaves like a teenager and wakes up at 9am. Michael and I on the sofa, Jake jumping on top of us, and Fluffy who decided to join in. Lets just say that we started our day with a nice laugh. As I looked at Michael, he was smiling and looked so happy. Then there was Jake, who thinks that life is just a big chocolate cake, with this little spark in his eyes. And of course, our dog always in for some more cuddles. I want to grasp these moments with all my heart and put them in a box to keep them forever with me. These are my happy folders :-)
Everything is quiet at the apartment, with Eugene being very busy playing with his trains, Jake being at school and Michael working. Hopefully, it will allow me to catch up on my biology course. Such a great start to our day… But when it rains in Nassau, the traffic gets really bad and I got stuck for nearly two hours. I tried to remember the words of Thich Nhat Hanh. It worked for half an hour until I really got impatient and ended up getting in trouble with a policeman because I backed up in a one way street hoping to save some time :-) C'est la vie…
This track is another tapestry of sounds. It reminds me very much of Tubular Bells; it has the same kind of energy… Beautiful!
20th May 2010 – Nassau
Out of Mind
Ah… This track! Michael is going to hear about it when he comes out of the studio :-) Looking at the title, I was ready for the heavy electric guitar but as it started I was so surprised to hear this very relaxing tune. Well how wrong I was! We had a talked a few days ago about how little a title means to the tracks, and I was just thinking how silly this title was for a nice smooth tune like that when the electric guitar suddenly blasted off my headphones. Yeah, titles might not mean much but they do give us an idea of what is coming :-)
We took Eugene for a bike ride this morning and we had a great time walking on the beach. Everything is new for our baby, an adventure, and interesting. I would love to see the world through his eyes.
I did make a lot of progress today and catch up on everything that needed to be done. Now, I have to get down to business with studying before Dehlia arrives and the preparations for moving to the new house. If I am going to pass this exam in August, I had better read and breathe biology for the next few weeks. Next stop, genetics.
This evening, Eugene came to sit on my lap and we listened to some music together. I played him Summit Day, Muse, and Enigmatism. Lets just say that we had an amazing time :-) Cuddling my baby with my eyes closed, listening to his daddy's music… Sometimes it feels like life doesn't get better than that.
21st May 2010 – Nassau
From the Ashes
We took the boat out for a trip to Rose Island and had a really nice time. There is honestly nothing like the Bahamian waters, they are so blue and clear! (Even on a rough day)
Genetics, and more precisely, meiosis is such a fascinating subject, it is just miracle how everything works.
To end this lovely day, Michael and I went for a nice romantic dinner together. Very much like that, From the Ashes is a wonderful ending to this album.
The tracks that I played to Eugene are in my opinion absolutely amazing, and Summit Day will always have a special place in my heart - I just fell in love with that tune :-) It has been so rewarding to discover Guitars.
Copyright © Fanny Oldfield 2010 |
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Join Fanny Oldfield on a journey through her husband's music, set against the backdrop of their life in the Caribbean.
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| Music Of The Spheres |
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| Light + Shade |
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| Tubular Bells 2003 |
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| Tres Lunas |
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| The Millennium Bell |
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| Guitars |
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| Tubular Bells III |
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| Voyager |
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